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Major friends-list reorganization/cutback - One person's lack of compassion does not equal another's comfort.
One person's lack of comprehension does not equal another's consent.
fixx
fixx
Major friends-list reorganization/cutback
[edit: It appears that I need to make a clarification. This post is not about my good friends not commenting enough, I've never unfriended anyone for that reason nor am I likely to. This post is about people who don't know me well enough leaping to unfair or insulting conclusions, possibly due to inattentiveness or poor judgement. That said, it is still pleasant that some of you who comment less have opted to comment here anyway :-)]

Today I have performed the first major cutback on my LJ friends list since I joined LJ.

In reviewing my mutual friends list, I've also come to realize how many thoughtful wonderful people I actually know and catch up with them a bit. I even added a couple of people who were long overdue for adding. I've been thinking about this bit of housekeeping this for a few weeks, but an email I received today made it pretty clear just how necessary this was. [edit: I realize I can use filters, in fact I do use filters but I think there is a minimum amount of trust I'd like to feel for a person before I have them on my friends list even with filters]

I know that not everyone I have friended reads my LJ. Not even everyone who has friended me has time to read my LJ, but for anybody to read my entries and come away with such a skewed perception as I've just encountered [edit accidentally omitted words: 'suggests I've possibly been too prompt to add people, or keep them beyond a reasonably probationary period'.]

This one reader apparently missed that both of the people I've had difficulties with in the past two days were less considerate of me than I was of them in dealing with them, choosing to fault me instead. Such people are not paying enough attention to what they are reading.

In the past couple of years I have felt I had more time and patience for insensitive people than I do today, and so it is with this new realization that I'm cutting way back on who I will trust.

Although I've cut very few from the "mutual" friends list, those I've not cut includes only those who have shown the ability to make thoughtful and informed comments. even if sometimes harsh but fair, or at least not go apeshit after reading the _wrong_half_ of one of my LJ entries.

If any of you who have been cut feel that you are in a phase of "Self Improvement" and are being unfairly treated due to past behaviors you would not repeat, I will consider adding you back. All comments are screened so you may reply here if you wish.
27 Rubber Duckies or Leave a Rubber Ducky
Comments
From: childthief_liar Date: October 2nd, 2005 08:25 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'm too awesome to ever cut.
fixx From: fixx Date: October 2nd, 2005 08:51 pm (UTC) (Link)
Correct, but I still say you are "creepy"
From: childthief_liar Date: October 2nd, 2005 08:53 pm (UTC) (Link)
Child your gonna get your ass kicked. There is no creepy factor about me, at all! Awesome? Yes, lots of that. Weird, of course. Hyper, all the time. Stupid, from head to toe. I just don't see where I have room for this creepy factor.
fixx From: fixx Date: October 2nd, 2005 09:17 pm (UTC) (Link)
anyone who can successfully send teams of thugs... sorry "Jocks" to beat up some stupid guy, regardless how how justified the beating may have been, is actually kind of creepy. I'm not saying you are bad creepy, but you can't have that sort of power and not be considered creepy, they two just go togetherm, the same way George Bush is a lot creepier than he used to be now that he is president.
From: childthief_liar Date: October 2nd, 2005 09:19 pm (UTC) (Link)
Darling, if you think that's creepy, then you don't even want to know what my family is capible of.
:)
fixx From: fixx Date: October 2nd, 2005 10:11 pm (UTC) (Link)
Perhaps you've forgotten how much you've told me already, and by that I do mean outside of what you've posted in your journal!
From: childthief_liar Date: October 2nd, 2005 10:24 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh yeah!!! I guess I have told you about that.
archgirl06 From: archgirl06 Date: October 2nd, 2005 08:37 pm (UTC) (Link)
woo am i special or did you just miss me?
fixx From: fixx Date: October 2nd, 2005 08:52 pm (UTC) (Link)
Don't push it, you barely made the cut.
From: childthief_liar Date: October 2nd, 2005 08:54 pm (UTC) (Link)
Look at you trying to be badass.
fixx From: fixx Date: October 2nd, 2005 10:09 pm (UTC) (Link)
Yeah, I guess when I do that I'm kinda creepy too! :-P
neko_no_kioku From: neko_no_kioku Date: October 2nd, 2005 08:59 pm (UTC) (Link)
Am I special or just cute? ;)
fixx From: fixx Date: October 2nd, 2005 09:18 pm (UTC) (Link)
Which answer would you prefer?
neko_no_kioku From: neko_no_kioku Date: October 2nd, 2005 09:20 pm (UTC) (Link)
Ummmm..... the truth?
fixx From: fixx Date: October 2nd, 2005 09:22 pm (UTC) (Link)
Well! If you are going to be THAT way about it! :-P

You have an uncommon combination of good judgement, thoughtfullness and irresistable good looks.

There! Thank you for making everyone else feel inferior.
neko_no_kioku From: neko_no_kioku Date: October 2nd, 2005 09:25 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hehe, I can't help the way I was made ;)

But thanks, for that you get lots of big *SNUGGLES*

And if you have a party this winter, when I'm done with the semester, I should be able to make it!
fixx From: fixx Date: October 2nd, 2005 10:08 pm (UTC) (Link)
Considering where you live I am already flattered that you'd plan to!
ksatyr From: ksatyr Date: October 2nd, 2005 09:11 pm (UTC) (Link)
See, you only didn't cut me because you want to take photos of me putting on free panties.
fixx From: fixx Date: October 2nd, 2005 09:18 pm (UTC) (Link)
As *if* I need you to be in my friends list to accomplish that
peaceful_fox From: peaceful_fox Date: October 2nd, 2005 09:28 pm (UTC) (Link)
In the past couple of years I have felt I had more time and patience for insensitive people than I do today, and so it is with this new realization that I'm cutting way back on who I will trust.

I had the same thing happen to me - the older I get the less cr*p I take. I just don't need it in my life. I cut my list a while ago and I try to keep it sensible, so I certianly understand.
fixx From: fixx Date: October 2nd, 2005 10:04 pm (UTC) (Link)
Considering you friended me just as you were leaving the country, and that so many of your friends appear to be people you know in real life, I was really surprised you added me in the first place and ever more flattered that you have decided to keep me. :-)
(Deleted comment)
fixx From: fixx Date: October 2nd, 2005 10:08 pm (UTC) (Link)
You comment plent for me. It is more a matter of quality than quantity. Like you said, I comment when I have something worthwhile to say and I hold my tongue (er keyboard) when I do not.

I hate it when people cut me from their friends list because they feel I don't comment enough, even when I really do read them regularly... however when that happens I almost always speak up and provide evidence that I have been reading or else explain why I have not been able to.
From: whormonalisa Date: October 3rd, 2005 01:42 am (UTC) (Link)
While I haven't been cut I would like to make a PSA that I am most definitely in a phase of "Self Improvement." Thank goodness for that.
fixx From: fixx Date: October 3rd, 2005 02:58 am (UTC) (Link)
This is not the first time you've mentioned you were trying to improve something about yourself. I've been aware of some difficulties you've had but I never had the impression they were the fault of anything you were doing wrong, and certainly I've never thought, "If she doesn't straighten up and fly right I'm taking her off my friends list".
(Screened comment)
fixx From: fixx Date: October 3rd, 2005 03:07 am (UTC) (Link)
It appears you've misunderstood. I wasn't saying that if you don't comment I will remove you, although I have seen others say that. I realize you are busy moving so I won't waste your time asking you to re-read what I wrote, just trust me and take my word for it, that's not what what my entry said.

Please don't be offended I'm keeping your entry screened. I don't want anyone even getting the idea that's what I'm saying or actually meant.
presenttense80 From: presenttense80 Date: October 4th, 2005 03:35 pm (UTC) (Link)
I read your journal everyday ... thanks for not cutting me.
I am generally too busy to post comments, but I ADORE your stories of life :)
fixx From: fixx Date: October 8th, 2005 11:41 pm (UTC) (Link)
As I continue to explain I'm not cutting people simply for not commenting. I read enough of your journal to realize you are as busy and stressed as I've been. We will catch up, eventually. :-)
27 Rubber Duckies or Leave a Rubber Ducky