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Ha! I kill me! - One person's lack of compassion does not equal another's comfort.
One person's lack of comprehension does not equal another's consent.
fixx
fixx
Ha! I kill me!
Minutes ago I called the funeral home expecting to get an voice-mail system directing me to press 1 for English and 2 for hours of operation.

Instead I get a man so polite I believe him to be the voice of that voice-mail system... except that there were no choices and no beep. So naturally after a short delay I realize my mistake and utter these words.

"Oh Wow! You're a live person!"

Yeah, like maybe they hire DEAD people to answer the phones? I suppose they could really save on the medical insurance, not to mention wages... I mean what *is* the cost of living for the dead these days anyway?

I'm sure I made his day. :-)

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Current Mood: amused amused

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vvalkyri From: vvalkyri Date: February 20th, 2004 07:22 am (UTC) (Link)
On the other side is the people whose voicemail recordings sound like they're ansewring the phone...
fixx From: fixx Date: February 20th, 2004 08:20 am (UTC) (Link)

Answering for the dead

Thank you for reminding me. And yes, this is yet another story about my mom. You may recall my many stories of my mom hallucinating seeing my father after he died. Ok maybe hallucinating is too strong a word. After we "convinced" her he had died, her excuse was that he had come back to life, and finally that he kept coming back to life and they re-dying all over the house.

So as you might imagine, after we locked her up... (er um, ok, I guess "placed her in a nursing home" is more P.C.)she began calling everyone to get her out and when she'd get me she'd often address me as though I were my father, especially if I answered on the line that used to be "line one" at her house.

So here's the part about the answering machine. One evening it dawned on me that she REALLY wants to think she reached him, so I changed the outgoing message on the answering machine to resemble the way he'd answer the phone. If she ever heard it, she NEVER left a message, nor did she tell anyone, or if she did, at least I never heard about it. I did such a good impression than on the few occasions I called the number myself (to contact a friend who was staying at my house) even **I** was weirded out, and I'm the one who recorded it. My friend steve, who was also in on the "joke" had a similar weirded reaction.
vvalkyri From: vvalkyri Date: February 20th, 2004 02:40 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Answering for the dead

The beep probably spoiled the illusion. But that was kind of you to do.
fixx From: fixx Date: February 20th, 2004 03:43 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: Answering for the dead

I can tell you for a fact it would not have spoiled the illusion because my mom would often talk to the answering machine as if I had been talking to her and then blew an air horn into the phone for no apparent reason. I still have some of these recordings but I doubt I will be playing them at any "House Re-Warming" party.

PS you will be invited, same place as the last party you attended. This time the main party food will be french fries, so I hope you aren't vegetarian. :-)
the_mendicant From: the_mendicant Date: February 20th, 2004 08:20 am (UTC) (Link)

That's a Killer!

I know my day has only just begun, but I'm sure that's the funniest thing I'm going to hear all day. Thankyou for sharing!
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