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Pruning Friends - One person's lack of compassion does not equal another's comfort.
One person's lack of comprehension does not equal another's consent.
fixx
fixx
Pruning Friends
Somewhere along the line I forgot that at least half the best time's I've had on LJ were actually reading the communities.

I will probably continue to post, but friends-only and not worry about the public posts which are already up. Today I have cut back on those people who I have listed as my friends.

If any of those people I have not already cut out of my friends list wish to request not to be cut, this would be a good time to mention it.

The same goes for anyone I have cut, should they wish to be reinstated.
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Comments
leanasidhe From: leanasidhe Date: September 25th, 2003 01:56 pm (UTC) (Link)
i tend to keep things to myself when i am hurting. even though the events of the past few days really got to me...i do want to say one thing: in my telling people to check their email, it was only me asking to talk to someone, as i was really confused and hurt by things that were going on. i have since decided i am not going the friends only route.

you may think i don't care, but i do. i was fine with our friendship when it was at the email stage and then things got so confusing that i didn't know what to make of them. yes, we both did and said things that shouldn't have been said, but my real issue with the past few days was when you presumed to know me and presumed to be able to pass judgement on me. you came off as presumptuous, which irritated me to no end.

i asked jen to email me as i know she's known you for a long time and i didn't know how to handle what was going on. she never took sides and she never said anything bad about you. i just needed to talk to someone who actually knew you.

anyway, i regret the things that happened, and i am sorry for causing you pain. i have unblocked your email address, so if you ever need to talk to someone, then feel free to email me. i doubt i could handle phone or IM conversations, but i'm not shutting all the doors. it's open partway, not that i expect anything.
fixx From: fixx Date: September 25th, 2003 09:26 pm (UTC) (Link)

???

uhh, thanks for telling me you "unblocked" my email. Considering I had not even tried to email you, I was unaware it was blocked. In the five or so page RANT you sent me, you indicated you were not expecting a response. I guess now I know why.

You say I presumed to "know you" but I don't know what you mean. Over that fateful weekend and since you took me into your confidence in a number of areas. You even said some of it was stuff you hadn't told someone... your therapist maybe? I wasn't taking notes. I think I know a lot about you, but again it was only what you told me.

You have told me you have problems with your memory, so maybe you don't recall everything you told me. Can we at least agree I knew what it was you told me?

As for passing judgement, please cite specific examples.
leanasidhe From: leanasidhe Date: September 26th, 2003 08:42 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: ???

i did not block your email right away, no.

you said that i called you several times a day. that wasn't me calling...that was you calling me. it began to feel like you were checking up on me (for instance, on monday when you couldn't reach me). granted, i called you once from work, but i was on break...and the only time i ever remember calling more than once a day was that same night when i called from my house, too.

the only thing i remember saying that i hadn't told people about was the thing about when i was assaulted. i said i can't tell people the details, but i can say that it happened. i used to not be able to say that.

i do know that you seemed to think different things and try to pin reasons for things i did that weren't there. that text message i sent you is the same one that i sent to katie and stuart, who are my closest friends. i do tell my best friends that i love them all the time. as for the adore part, i say that to all of my close friends. i know it's considered flirting, but it wasn't ever intended to be more coming from my side. you passed judgement on me by saying hinting that i was leading you on with the love and adore stuff, when i was not. one thing i learned a long time ago is to tell people that they are loved and appreciated, b/c our lives are so short. i've been through a lot of really bad things in my life and if it were not for my friends, who knows where i'd be.

i had come to see you as a best friend, plain and simple, which is why i continued to call you. i did mention my visit to you in my journal, but, no, i didn't elaborate b/c i don't tend to do that for ANYONE. i am a very private person when it comes to special things l
leanasidhe From: leanasidhe Date: September 26th, 2003 08:43 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: ???

i am a very private person when it comes to special things like that that people do for me. when i said i didn't want to post it after getting that email, it was b/c i don't like being told what to do.

sorry for the long reply.
bittercat From: bittercat Date: September 25th, 2003 02:06 pm (UTC) (Link)

Thanks for not cutting me!
fixx From: fixx Date: September 25th, 2003 09:06 pm (UTC) (Link)
Duh? You INVITED me!

I think you'd have to do something pretty damned awful before I'd cut you from the list.
bittercat From: bittercat Date: September 26th, 2003 06:32 am (UTC) (Link)

I thought I had, back with the whole PC mess.

You are a friend, Dave. We may not always see eye to eye, but you are a friend. :)
selaphobia From: selaphobia Date: September 25th, 2003 04:53 pm (UTC) (Link)
ooh, ooh, pick me! pick me!

uh, i mean... keep me on your list please...
fixx From: fixx Date: September 25th, 2003 09:05 pm (UTC) (Link)
LOL! Cute!

Thanks for making me feel so appreciated. I needed that.
selaphobia From: selaphobia Date: September 26th, 2003 12:33 am (UTC) (Link)
seems as you've picked up some of my wonderful luck with "friends"... people are wonderful ain't they?

well, i think you're a neato guy - tho that may be because you can smell playdoh out of my memories, but i'll be damned if that isn't an awesome talent. you're luck will get better, things tend to work out that way. this mass exodus of people around you is giving you time to strengthen yourself. it can be empowering to be alone - tho once you notice that is usually when new friends come a knocking.

so i wish you luck, some better than mine ;o)
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